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Mortuary
DVD/APPROX. 93 MINS/2005/USA R18+
DVD/APPROX. 93 MINS/2005/USA R18+
I think Tobe Hooper has kicked all of our horror loving asses. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: horror classic that most of us owe our obsession to.
Lifeforce: a vampire movie with universal links...brilliant. Eaten Alive: a bit derivative of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but pretty cool never the less.
Poltergeist: a not so horrible movie that Mum and Dad or the girlfriend can watch with you. Lately though, maybe even since the mid eighties,
Hooper's films have been lacking something...is it heart? Who knows, but 2004's remake of The Toolbox Murders showed that maybe the old dog
had some new tricks...well, that shining beacon of hope has now been dulled slightly by this film, Mortuary.
The story goes like this Leslie Doyle (Denise Crosby) has decided to leave her old life being. Now with new mortician credentials, she and her son,
Jonathon (Dan Byrd) and daughter, Jamie (Stephanie Patton) move into the abandoned Fowler Brothers Funeral Home. The thing is though, the
Fowler residence has some terrible secrets, secrets that have been long hidden...secrets that...kill...This film suffered from two main problems. The
first, plot holes so big that entire galaxies could disappear into them... I won't go into them for spoiling some parts of the story.
I will say this though...if a policeman went missing at my place and his car was parked out the front, I think I would notice. The second is the
'shocking twist ending', which was a staple of films from the 80s, the bad guy was destroyed and everyone was happy...until suddenly. HE'S BACK
(Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees were probably the biggest offenders of this crime), well this film finished off perfectly, the
boundaries set up within the film were adhered to, and the bad guy vanquished...until the worst conceived shocking twist ending ever. This film
had some great make ups, some quirky performances, great direction, an excellent Lovecraftian theme. And a script that just didn't hold water.
Shame.
Lifeforce: a vampire movie with universal links...brilliant. Eaten Alive: a bit derivative of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but pretty cool never the less.
Poltergeist: a not so horrible movie that Mum and Dad or the girlfriend can watch with you. Lately though, maybe even since the mid eighties,
Hooper's films have been lacking something...is it heart? Who knows, but 2004's remake of The Toolbox Murders showed that maybe the old dog
had some new tricks...well, that shining beacon of hope has now been dulled slightly by this film, Mortuary.
The story goes like this Leslie Doyle (Denise Crosby) has decided to leave her old life being. Now with new mortician credentials, she and her son,
Jonathon (Dan Byrd) and daughter, Jamie (Stephanie Patton) move into the abandoned Fowler Brothers Funeral Home. The thing is though, the
Fowler residence has some terrible secrets, secrets that have been long hidden...secrets that...kill...This film suffered from two main problems. The
first, plot holes so big that entire galaxies could disappear into them... I won't go into them for spoiling some parts of the story.
I will say this though...if a policeman went missing at my place and his car was parked out the front, I think I would notice. The second is the
'shocking twist ending', which was a staple of films from the 80s, the bad guy was destroyed and everyone was happy...until suddenly. HE'S BACK
(Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees were probably the biggest offenders of this crime), well this film finished off perfectly, the
boundaries set up within the film were adhered to, and the bad guy vanquished...until the worst conceived shocking twist ending ever. This film
had some great make ups, some quirky performances, great direction, an excellent Lovecraftian theme. And a script that just didn't hold water.
Shame.
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