| "The Ultimate Asian Trash Cinema” |
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Robo Vampire
DVD/APPROX. 87 MINS/1988/USA - HONG KONG UNRATED
DVD/APPROX. 87 MINS/1988/USA - HONG KONG UNRATED
8
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I'm not sure where to start with this one. I mean you have drug smugglers, hopping vampires, ghosts who like to show off their breasts, mad
scientists; evil priests and a Robocop wanna-be whose amour looks like it was sewn together, kung fu, gun fights and...well you get the picture.
The plot, if you can call it that involves heroin dealers smuggling their goods with vampires, (the Chinese hopping kind) to protect it. This is all
overseen by an evil Taoist priest. Of course where there are drug smugglers there are heroic cops tracking them down. This inspires our villains to
create a “Super Vampire”. Unfortunately the body they pick has a girlfriend in the hereafter, one given to wearing a see through white gown with
nothing underneath and she's not happy with the proceedings, (given the pair she has on display I would think he'd be even more unhappy, I
could spend eternity playing with those puppies). One spirit wedding later she's on board and the plan kicks into overdrive.
When they succeed in killing the main cop trying to stop them things really get wild. His body is given over to a scientist who reanimates him as a
part human part robot cyborg with an armoured metal body. The problem is his armour looks like it was sewn together from shiny fabric that was
supposed to look metallic. It doesn't and it looks like he's covered in cheap pillows.
From here the plot pretty well becomes totally incomprehensible leading up to the female ghost going full on topless and a showdown between
the Super Vampire and Robocop wanna be.
Can you tell I absolutely love this film? It's one of the most incredibly jaw dropping, brain numbing, what the fuck am I watching movies I have ever
seen. This film is such a screwed up, illogical, over the top mess you can't help but love it. Bad gun play, bad effects, so so kung fu and nice tits,
what more could a trash hound want? This looks like it may have been stitched together from a couple of different films with all its unresolved plot
points and loose ends. Whatever its genesis the end result is truly one of a kind.
If you like mainstream films with production values you're gonna hate this. If you like your films on the wild side, fire up the bong, (this is beyond
the power of beer), and enjoy. Robo Vampire is a trash classic of the highest order.
scientists; evil priests and a Robocop wanna-be whose amour looks like it was sewn together, kung fu, gun fights and...well you get the picture.
The plot, if you can call it that involves heroin dealers smuggling their goods with vampires, (the Chinese hopping kind) to protect it. This is all
overseen by an evil Taoist priest. Of course where there are drug smugglers there are heroic cops tracking them down. This inspires our villains to
create a “Super Vampire”. Unfortunately the body they pick has a girlfriend in the hereafter, one given to wearing a see through white gown with
nothing underneath and she's not happy with the proceedings, (given the pair she has on display I would think he'd be even more unhappy, I
could spend eternity playing with those puppies). One spirit wedding later she's on board and the plan kicks into overdrive.
When they succeed in killing the main cop trying to stop them things really get wild. His body is given over to a scientist who reanimates him as a
part human part robot cyborg with an armoured metal body. The problem is his armour looks like it was sewn together from shiny fabric that was
supposed to look metallic. It doesn't and it looks like he's covered in cheap pillows.
From here the plot pretty well becomes totally incomprehensible leading up to the female ghost going full on topless and a showdown between
the Super Vampire and Robocop wanna be.
Can you tell I absolutely love this film? It's one of the most incredibly jaw dropping, brain numbing, what the fuck am I watching movies I have ever
seen. This film is such a screwed up, illogical, over the top mess you can't help but love it. Bad gun play, bad effects, so so kung fu and nice tits,
what more could a trash hound want? This looks like it may have been stitched together from a couple of different films with all its unresolved plot
points and loose ends. Whatever its genesis the end result is truly one of a kind.
If you like mainstream films with production values you're gonna hate this. If you like your films on the wild side, fire up the bong, (this is beyond
the power of beer), and enjoy. Robo Vampire is a trash classic of the highest order.
| OUT OF PRINT |
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