| Splatter Farm |
Let me just start out by saying I appreciate young independent filmmakers having a go,
regardless of what limitations lay ahead. For sure Shot On Video isn't exactly an ideal
medium to start with, but if they develop the skills to move onto bigger & better things
then I am all for it. Some first timers efforts have actually turned out pretty decent (John
McBride's Cannibal Campout springs to mind, as well as J.R Bookwater's The Dead
Next Door) most are pure shit (Boarding House & Curse Of The Screaming Dead are
2 such examples), and well quite frankly Splatter Farm is somewhere in the middle...
The plot (cough) concerns a pair of slack jawed yokel twins, Alan & Joseph (who are
actually director/editor/everything else John & Mark Polonia) who are going to visit their
Aunt Lacey on her farm in the middle of nowhere. Aunt Lacey also has a helping hand
working on the farm, semi-retarded Jeremy. Now Jeremy is one sadistic little fucker
whose favorite pass time is to just kill anything and everything, as well as masturbate
with severed limbs. Not to say Aunt Lacey is much better, she has a little problem
letting go of her dead lover and keeps his corpse around for a little errr bedroom
action. But even an old stiff isn’t enough for Aunt Lacey, who slips a date rape pill into
one of the twins drink and proceeds to have her way with him while he is passed out!
Sensing some weird shit is going on around the place, the other twin decides to
investigate, only to feel Jeremy's wrath! You see, Jeremy has developed a bit of a
fascination with the boys, and after catching one of them spying on him, ties him up in
the barn, pisses all over him, then pulls his pants down and smears shit all over his face
before stabbing him with a pitch fork!
There are a few more secrets around the farm that I will leave to the viewer to find out
for themselves, I’ll just say that the film ends with a Bang!
While watching Splatter Farm, I had the distinct feeling that the film makers were
heavily influenced by Texas Chainsaw Massacre & Bloodsucking Freaks, and that
description basically sums the film up, just substitute Sardu for Leatherface and you
have a basic idea of the proceedings here. To say that the camera work on the film is
amateur at best would be really stretching it, as the camera work is just basic set it up
& roll documentary style, with no different angles in the same cut & what not.
Camp have held up their fine tradition of jam packing these Retro 80's discs full of
extras and really went to town on this one! The film itself is apparently slightly re edited
(I don't know by how much as I haven’t seen the original VHS release), and features a
very lively commentary with the Polonia brothers, as well a large chunk of their early
Super 8 short films from back in the day. An all new Doco on the making of Splatter
Farm, Liner Notes and the usual Camp Trailer Vault round of the disc.
As a serious film, Splatter Farm fails dismally. The acting is atrocious, the gore effects
hilariously bad, and the story just isn’t really all that engaging. However, when taken into
context of what it actually is, an extremely cheap & cheesy labour of love, it's not so
bad. My main problem with the film is why does everyone talk so bloody slow? It
somehow makes everything drag... Worth a spin for fans of late 80's SOV films,
Splatter farm really delivers in the splatter department, but somehow ends up a little
short on the film front. an A for effort, C for execution
DVD Features:
* SPLATTER FARM feature film
* COMMENTARIES featuring Directors Mark and John Polonia
* "Back to the Farm" DOCUMENTARY
* Early 8mm GORY SHORT FILMS by Polonia Brothers
* DVD LINER NOTES
* Camp Motion Pictures TRAILER VAULT
Directed by: Mark Polonia, John Polonia and Todd Smith
Written by: Mark Polonia, John Polonia, Todd Smith
Starring: Marion Costly, John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Todd Rimatti, Jeff Seddon,
Bernice Tombs
Other Titles: The Degenerates
(1987)
regardless of what limitations lay ahead. For sure Shot On Video isn't exactly an ideal
medium to start with, but if they develop the skills to move onto bigger & better things
then I am all for it. Some first timers efforts have actually turned out pretty decent (John
McBride's Cannibal Campout springs to mind, as well as J.R Bookwater's The Dead
Next Door) most are pure shit (Boarding House & Curse Of The Screaming Dead are
2 such examples), and well quite frankly Splatter Farm is somewhere in the middle...
The plot (cough) concerns a pair of slack jawed yokel twins, Alan & Joseph (who are
actually director/editor/everything else John & Mark Polonia) who are going to visit their
Aunt Lacey on her farm in the middle of nowhere. Aunt Lacey also has a helping hand
working on the farm, semi-retarded Jeremy. Now Jeremy is one sadistic little fucker
whose favorite pass time is to just kill anything and everything, as well as masturbate
with severed limbs. Not to say Aunt Lacey is much better, she has a little problem
letting go of her dead lover and keeps his corpse around for a little errr bedroom
action. But even an old stiff isn’t enough for Aunt Lacey, who slips a date rape pill into
one of the twins drink and proceeds to have her way with him while he is passed out!
Sensing some weird shit is going on around the place, the other twin decides to
investigate, only to feel Jeremy's wrath! You see, Jeremy has developed a bit of a
fascination with the boys, and after catching one of them spying on him, ties him up in
the barn, pisses all over him, then pulls his pants down and smears shit all over his face
before stabbing him with a pitch fork!
There are a few more secrets around the farm that I will leave to the viewer to find out
for themselves, I’ll just say that the film ends with a Bang!
While watching Splatter Farm, I had the distinct feeling that the film makers were
heavily influenced by Texas Chainsaw Massacre & Bloodsucking Freaks, and that
description basically sums the film up, just substitute Sardu for Leatherface and you
have a basic idea of the proceedings here. To say that the camera work on the film is
amateur at best would be really stretching it, as the camera work is just basic set it up
& roll documentary style, with no different angles in the same cut & what not.
Camp have held up their fine tradition of jam packing these Retro 80's discs full of
extras and really went to town on this one! The film itself is apparently slightly re edited
(I don't know by how much as I haven’t seen the original VHS release), and features a
very lively commentary with the Polonia brothers, as well a large chunk of their early
Super 8 short films from back in the day. An all new Doco on the making of Splatter
Farm, Liner Notes and the usual Camp Trailer Vault round of the disc.
As a serious film, Splatter Farm fails dismally. The acting is atrocious, the gore effects
hilariously bad, and the story just isn’t really all that engaging. However, when taken into
context of what it actually is, an extremely cheap & cheesy labour of love, it's not so
bad. My main problem with the film is why does everyone talk so bloody slow? It
somehow makes everything drag... Worth a spin for fans of late 80's SOV films,
Splatter farm really delivers in the splatter department, but somehow ends up a little
short on the film front. an A for effort, C for execution
DVD Features:
* SPLATTER FARM feature film
* COMMENTARIES featuring Directors Mark and John Polonia
* "Back to the Farm" DOCUMENTARY
* Early 8mm GORY SHORT FILMS by Polonia Brothers
* DVD LINER NOTES
* Camp Motion Pictures TRAILER VAULT
Directed by: Mark Polonia, John Polonia and Todd Smith
Written by: Mark Polonia, John Polonia, Todd Smith
Starring: Marion Costly, John Polonia, Mark Polonia, Todd Rimatti, Jeff Seddon,
Bernice Tombs
Other Titles: The Degenerates
(1987)
| MOVIE SCREENSHOTS |
| Splatter Farm is the only film with the guts to push the boundaries into new uncharted territory |
| Reviewed by: Goremetal 666 |
