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Once again the crew at Alternative Cinema have found some real beauties for us too
with Blue Summer from 1973 being a very early Chuck Vincent flick that looks like it
was probably available in a hardcore version as well cos the sex is fairly raunchy by
softcore 70s standards, Eric Edwards pops up (but not literally!) and the guys look like
they’re enjoying themselves far too much. A teen sex road movie, Blue Summer
follows our erstwhile buddies Tracey and Gene as they drive across the country on one
last trip before college begins. They meet a couple of girl hitchhikers who shag them
then try and rip them off, there’s a biker who they help out and who keeps showing
up for no apparent reason and a hippy messiah named Roger sitting in a field with two
topless babes who lets the boys share his bounty while he plays flute. Trouble is Roger
and the girls then want to share the boys’ bounty – food, money, beer, sleeping
quarters so the boys have to make a break. Eric Edwards shows up, scams the boys
out of beer by offering them a night with a local nympho ( a damn ugly one at that)
before his buddies show up and chase the boys away but still keep their beer. I was
beginning to sense a theme by now. No favour goes unpunished. Was everyone a
freeloader back then or was Chuck just a bitter prick already?
Anyway, the boys do get laid a bit, there's plenty of a-grade topshelf, the biker shows
up to save the kids from a kicking (the one guy who they did a good turn to then
returning the favour – see there was a theme) and the boys head back home still not
sure if they want to face college or what the future holds. One thing for sure though,
the party is over. Not a bad flick by drive in standards, lots of tits, beer drinking,
some jokes and a fair soundtrack to boot. A good start.
Sometime Sweet Susan came out in 75 and is an early attempt at a “couples” dry
humper (at least in this case because it’s the softcore version). Harry Reems plays a
doctor who is trying to solve the mystery of Susan, a young girl found in a hotel room
who doesn’t talk and who has no I.D. Played by the damn fine looker Shawn Harris
(who also sang on the soundtrack) Susan has a split personality and as Saundra is a bit of
a root rat while Susan is the quiet demure type. The doc is trying to get inside her
head not knowing that he’s already in there shagging Saundra senseless. Seems Sandra
doesn’t want to remember her past at all but then Saundra shows up for some girl on
girl action with her nurse and the story slowly unwinds – a dirty and violent stepdaddy,
Susan dreaming of her first time with her boyfriend Johnny who she doesn’t want
Saundra to meet but there’s something more too, something hiding inside. With Neil
Flanagan as Chief of Staff playing funny man to Reems’ straight act – or is it the other
way around – the movie sometimes comes across like a b-grade tv melodrama
especially with Harry’s pithy patter. Essentially we’re watching the battle ‘tween
desires vs morals with a little porn thrown in or so it seems but when the real story
breaks out and we see Saundra getting raped by Jamie Gillis and Alex Mann in a great
montage of heads, faces, scenery, imagery well then it all changes. Just in time for
the twist ending. Actually a pretty fine attempt at something different and luckily
Harry and Shawn hold it together. The soundtrack will drive you crazy though. Soft
cock soft rock….aaaaaaargh!!!!
After a piss break, a burger from the canteen and another futile attempt to unfasten
the bra we get Summer School Teachers a 1974 flick from the house of Corman!!
Directed by Barbara (Humanoids From The Deep) Peeters and produced by the woman
behind the throne Julie Corman, this time we get three hot b-grade chicks with a-
grade racks heading off from small town Iowa to the big smoke to teach at summer
school in Hollywood. You can’t go wrong really can you? Corman stalwart Dick Miller
shows up to play the football coach, one girl takes on the establishment by forming a
girl’s football team (all cut off denims, t-shirts and high socks!), the very prim and
proper chemistry teacher falls for the juvenile delinquent with a heart of gold, the art
teacher gets into “candid” photography, a stolen car racket, tits, more tits, corrupt
town officials, car chases, womens lib, comedy (well, okay that might be pushing it),
girls playing football in tight t-shirts and denim cut offs (oh wait I mentioned that
already didn’t I?)… hell it has it all. A real saturday night drivein staple this baby. hell i
could almost smell the desperation coming from the back seat.
The last movie after a long night is the weird and wonderful Teenage Divorce or as it
said on the actual credits – Teenage Divorcee… ah well, maybe the guy putting the
notes together had fallen asleep by then. Set supposedly in 1966 California (or at least
that’s what the opening credit says) this has early 70s written all over it – something to
do with the drive-in showing 1973’s The Arena and the characters mentioning a
vintage 71 wine??? Still that is what happens when you slap a pile of outtakes, long
distance shots, montages, voice overs and cobbled together footage into a feature
length film isn’t it? No bloody idea what is going on!! A film about three lost souls
(Ken, Leonard & Josie) who break free from the ‘square’ world and join each other in
a house of freedom and fun this film is a bit of a cult movie because one of those
three is George Takei – Star Trek’s Mr Sulu) who plays Ken, who may or may not be gay
but is definitely strange. Written by Holly Mascott who plays Josie and also starring
Tom Holland who went onto direct Childs Play and Fright Night this is one weird
bloody film, there is no other way to describe it. Josie and Leonard immediately pair
up leaving Ken feeling like the third wheel, there’s an orgy, a bicycle ride that
emulates Butch Cassidy but in a 60s flower power style (or maybe The Goodies!) some
homophobia sneaks in, there’s a strong anti-dope message, a dumb ass dealer, sex
scenes that are obvious body doubles, fondue, lobster and a drug bust. All thrown
together, cut and pasted, voiced over and generally mayhemic yet strangely endearing
in its own way. The final message from Josie/Holly seems to be : Live together but
don’t marry – there’s less paperwork involved.
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There’s will always be a lot of scratches and print damage to these types of films,
which ends up giving the films that grindhouse sleaze factor. Either though the film is
clearly worn, the video transfer is still very enjoyable to sit through. For those who sat
through the VHS era, will have no problem with the films Alternative Cinema releases,
but for all you video buffs its going to get on your nerves while ya rubbing one out.
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Audio is pretty standard, as Alternative Cinema has presented a 2.0 Dolby Digital
surround sound with a lot of Ooo's and Arrrrhhh's.
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Extras only consist of a couple handfuls of trailers spread across both DVDs.
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Another Grindhouse classic collection, this time the early days of the seventies are
covered with these four drive-in flicks that make you wish they still had drive-ins
everywhere, that babies did come from the cabbage patch (so you could shag yourself
senseless in the backseat and not worry about protection), that drink driving was seen
as a test of skill not an offense and that you could get your money back if you didn’t at
least get to second base.
A great pack of b-grade foolishness – don’t go in expecting more than what they
promise – low budget, low brow, smutty comedies – and you’ll enjoy yourselves. If I
could have I would have dragged the damn television outside, thrown it on the bonnet
of the car and imagined I was back at the starline drive-in getting turned down again
by Cindy and drinking brandivino till I spewed. Oh wait, that happened anyway,
better get the carpet cleaned before the missus gets home!
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